Monday, May 02, 2005

In Which I Become FreshMakered

I am just a TAD tense lately. I realize this. Wiser folks than I would tell me to take a long bath and go to bed early tonight, which I'll do.

And even WISER FOLKS THAN THOSE WISE FOLKS would tell me to pop a Mentos.

I know I am not alone. Cop to it. You love them too. Soon the freshness will overcome me and I will be able to conquer the world once again.

Need some convincing? This is such an old site I can't believe I only found it recently. But at last, I did. WHEW! If you need some FreshMakering as well, head over to the Mentos FAQ immediately! Here are just a couple goodies from the Commercial Synopses section (They've got Lucky 13 Synopses... IT MUST BE THE MENTOS!):

1. The Broken Shoe (or 'High Heel Treachery')
A sassy young lady sashays past an open air French style cafe, gaining the attention of a business man, and at the same time interrupting his newspaper enjoyment. As she glides past, a footwear malfunction occurs, leaving her sans one heel. She reaches for her secret freshness inducer, Mentos. After administering a piece of the magic elixir of nuttiness, she breaks off the remaining spike, proclaiming to the world her resourcefulness, and endless freshness. The man in the cafe is undoubtedly impressed.
2. The Fake Photographer (or 'Those Crazy Kids I')
A young lad and his pals file through a mob of fanatics and paparazzi, in order to get a closer look at their favorite star. However, their adventure takes them over the legal boundaries of said activity, which is then pointed out to them by the authorities. After a bit of contemplation, and a hearty dose of freshness ala Mentos, our hero cunningly disguises himself as a member of the media, and breaks through the defenses of the establishment.
3. The Airport Tram Ride (or 'Baggage Claim Blues')
A young woman finds herself in a bit of a pinch, as she discovers that she has packed too much, and her bags are a most bothersome burden. But she has no fear, it is a burden which is not insurmountable, especially with Mentos on her side. She unsheathes her glimmering blue tube of freshness, and holds it out stretched like the mighty Excalibur, and although shortening it by 1/14 this weapon has not lost its power. She consumes the pellet of perkiness, and decrees that she and only she shall be the one to ride the baggage cart, and all the other most unfresh patrons of the airport shall bear the full weight of their baggage. Her friends cheer, and dream of one day achieving a freshness such as hers.
On the site, you can even learn to FreshSpeak like an expert with terms like:

Empowermento (noun) The state or condition of being empowered by freshness.

Mentodramatics (noun) The overwrought emotion one feels when wronged, leading to the desire to down a Mento and correct the situation.

Mentophile (proper noun) A person (like yourself) who understands the many entertainment aspects of Mentos, and their all-important contribution to Western Civilization as we know it.

Mentostopheles (proper noun) A person who uses Mentos for evil means rather than Freshness

Mentowledgement (noun) The knowing look an adult gives a teen who does something crazy under the influence of Mentos.

YIF (acronym) Yours In Freshness

And there's so much more. Head over, and become FreshMakered yourself. (Warning: The server can be slow. Pop a Mentos while you're waiting.)