Charged Up! And, 2 Outta 10 is Definitely an F
Here is a photo so you can see the wonderful place where I was today.
Tomales Bay is hidden away near Point Reyes Station in West Marin. It is a wonderful, magical place.
It threw RIGHT OUTTA MY HEAD that AWFUL DREAM I had last night which I will call THE AMAZON.COM DREAM FROM HELL. I dreamed that my book was out and the reviews had begun getting posted on Amazon. IN MY DREAM, AMAZON HAD CHANGED ITS REVIEWING SYSTEM. You could now also comment on the author in addition to the book, in a whole separate section of its own! So there were comments RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY PAGE (not that I OBSESSIVELY CHECK THAT PARTICULAR PAGE or anything~ah hell, read my full confession HERE) like "Author's roots are showing." "Author has a greasy nose." "Author weighs 12 pounds more than she says she does." "Makeup trapped in wrinkles near Author's eyes." "Author needs to brush teeth longer in the mornings." "Author has bad habit of leaving dirty clothes on bathroom floor."
And as for THE BOOK, well, RIGHT UP THERE ON TOP was a vitriolic review from a former student whom I once sent outside when it was raining, and who NEVER let me forget it. (It was only a LITTLE SPRINKLE, and he was disrupting EVERYONE by pouring almost a cup of GARLIC POWDER into his mouth, just to have an excuse to shoot up from his desk and dramatically scream~yes, SCREAM~ *HOWZA GOWZA SHIM SHAM SHOO!*. What would YOU do, pray tell?)
(And before you ask, YES I quit voluntarily, they really didn't MAKE me leave~)
So right under the crappy review from Garlic Boy was the analysis of ME, THE AUTHOR. And on a scale of 1 to 10 stars, I averaged a 2.
Yeah, I don't think I'll be taking THAT ONE to my therapist. That one, I can figure out myself. It is chilling to realize that THE BOOK WILL BE IN STORES FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK AT, PURCHASE, AND EVEN READ IN EIGHTEEN DAYS. NOT THAT I AM COUNTING OR DOING ANYTHING NEUROTIC LIKE THAT.
I need to find a beach where I can HIDE and GET MY HEAD TOGETHER... FOR ABOUT A YEAR.
By the way, you can still enter the contest to win a copy of the novel at BookBitch.com. They are taking entries up until April 30. Hey, free's free, right? It beats one of those crappy magnets you get from the eye doctor. SHE SAID WITH A GREAT BIG SMILE.
But if you win, ya gotta promise not to go to AMAZON and tell everyone all my dirty li'l secrets, KAY?