Friday, February 18, 2005

Spies in Our Midst

There is a spy living in my house.

The spy travels with a notebook and writes down everything she hears. Indeed, working for the CIA is her second career choice (the first is being a pop star).

She is a very, very good spy and hears EVERYTHING.

She's asked me to publish her Spy Notebook on the Internet in the hopes that Hilary Duff will read it. I thought this was a brilliant idea. For one thing, I am in a NOTICEABLY YUCKY MOOD, as you can tell from my last few blog posts. I'm sure you'd all WELCOME a guest blogger to brighten things up. And I should be WRITING today--it's the last day before this hopeless invention called "Ski Week" begins. The kids will be off school and we don't ski, so we'll be sequestered in the house for a whole noisy, rainy week making crafts and messes. This is my last chance to make some progress on the chapter edits I'm doing.

Finally, I do, in fact, have readers surfing in from LA. Could be Hilary with some time to kill, who knows?

And now, DRUMROLL, the Spy Notebook.

Valintine's Party/Martha and Phil
(Was this a party? It was just champagne and a discussion. Well...)

Laphing (Thank God there was a little of that)
Marry Evens (best literary agent in the world)
Book Rewvew
Hitler (Whoa, huh! I don't remember discussing Hitler, but the conversation began to get serious from here on out)
Ishues (uh-oh)
Problems (bigger uh-oh)
Money (even bigger uh-oh)
Shavon (At first I thought this was the daughter of a friend of Phil's, named Siobhan. But NO, I figured out it was Michael CHABON!)
Bad Word Scribbled Out
Inglend (my favrit contry)
Money (uh-oh again)
Noon Tomorrow! (Someone meant business about SOMETHING! Watch out WORLD!)
Etedcy (That's what editors do to a book.)
Chicening out (I never do this)
Rershift (I never do this either)
litteray tast (I have very fine litteray tast)
state athor (We were talking about what's going to happen to the Fourth Estate authors, now that their imprint is no more. That was how Michael Chabon came up before...)
Bad Word Scribbled Out

This was all recorded in top secret, while hiding at the top of the stairs for a good hour without being caught. Watch out, Woodward and Bernstein!

And, Ms. Duff. If you catch a glimpse here and are impressed, please do let me know. The spy is available to write songs (one of her past credits is the top playground hit "I'm Totally Obsessed With Me") or movie scripts, as you prefer.