Saturday, June 25, 2005

A Chilling Challenge

When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls... whenever candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still... that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with GHOULISH DELIGHT!

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host... your GHOST HOST! Kindly step all the way in please and make room for everyone. THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW!

Our tour begins here in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.

Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of FOREBODING, almost as though you sense a DISQUIETING metamorphosis. Is this haunted room actually STRETCHING? Or is it your imagination, hmm? And consider this dismaying observation: This chamber has NO WINDOWS and NO DOORS! Which offers you this chilling challenge: TO FIND A WAY OUT!

Of course, there's always MY WAY....

We've now returned, bloody exhausted from The Happiest Place on Earth. I've been a very irresponsible blogger during that time! The hotel wanted $10 per hour for Internet access and I tell ya, after a few days at Disney, you get fucking tired of getting fucking screwed every which way and then some.

It was so fun though. Actually, I'm only checking in briefly before I bloody collapse. And before I give you the update, do check in at Beatrice for my Author2Author interview with Colleen Curran. (You may have to scroll down a bit.) I really enjoyed "chatting" with Colleen. Her book kicks ass. I read it in a day.

Vacation kicked ass as well. All went well, except:

1) DO NOT LEAVE YOUR REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPEN FIVE DAYS WHILE YOU ARE GONE. No. Not a good idea whatsoever. What broke my heart most, was the precious insulin that had gotten warm. All our backup insulin. I hope we can get refills from Longs for all this.

It is sort of embarrassing to admit this, but:

I hoard expired insulin in case of, well, in case of the worst.

You might think this was funny, unless you have ever pictured your loved ones in the aftermath of a giant earthquake or terrorist attack with no access to medical supplies. Although we always have a large supply of UNOPENED and UNEXPIRED insulin available, I feel you can never have enough. Because without insulin, my son would make it three days, maybe four.

I put all the expired insulin in a Ziploc, clearly labeled as to when it expired, in the Crisper drawer of the fridge. Expired insulin loses potency, but it isn't completely useless. It would keep someone alive. It's better than none at all and if you don't save it I suggest that you might.

However, it's all gone now. Luckily we brought most of our backup insulins to the Happiest Place on Earth with us, so the loss is not as great as it might seem. Still, tomorrow morning I am on the phone with Longs.

2) DO NOT TRUST PERSONS WHO TELL YOU THAT THE SODA IN FRONT OF YOUR SON IS DIET. I asked TWICE at Rainforest Cafe in Downtown Disney whether the soda was diet. "Yes," I was assured.

Well, at the fireworks, he was a bit irritable and crabby, but I chalked it up to many long days at Disney. When he asked for a soda, then a water, I started to wonder. On the bus back to the hotel, we tested.... 469. For those of you laymen that's approximately FIVE TIMES the normal blood sugar reading.

It couldn't have been anything but the soda because everything he ordered at dinner was what he'd had before, and he hadn't "sneaked." Fortunately he had no Ketones... (Ketones are the poison that the body emits as it burns fat and protein when glucose is too high in the blood... this is what causes Diabetic Ketoacidosis, coma and eventual death...) So, we dosed on Novolog at bedtime, checked two hours later... 339, OK, still high, but better. He ran high all night until morning when he was 228. I'm so angry with Rainforest Cafe. I'm going to write them a letter and explain the potential consequences of substituting a regular soda for a diet.

OTHER THAN THAT, Disneyland truly was the Happiest Place on Earth for us. I am as bad as anyone hounding Mickey for an autograph, or insisting we get FastPasses to go on Splash Mountain THREE TIMES. And the Haunted Mansion? Classic. I told my husband we have to move to Orange County, but as a San Francisco native, he wasn't exactly sold on the idea. Oh well.... there's always next year.

Also in the LA area, I taped a TV interview with the very wonderful Connie Martinson which will air in July in stations in LA, NYC and San Francisco. More details when they arrive! Connie was so easy to talk to. UNFORTUNATELY I wore white for the interview. In the green room, they had a Q&A about TV interviews... what's the first thing they say? NEVER WEAR WHITE. Ah well....