Tuesday, January 25, 2005

An Incredibly GLAM Entry about Libraries and SPOON

Perhaps you envy me my incredibly glamorous writerly life (snerk), but to tell you the truth, the last few days have been rather dull. Even drifting around the Internet for links, I'm just uninspired. (Check out Maud maybe.)

I ain't got no super HOT HOT HOT tips on writing contests (which I basically STEAL from other people and post here). And there's nothing I can really blab about regarding MY book or writing, other than the fact that I still love the library (there is NO WAY I can fuck around there). But, boo hoo, they don't love me. Yesterday I got yelled at TWICE for my cellphone going off. Now, before you curse and chastize me for my library rudeness, keep in mind that my son could potentially go into an emergency hypoglycemic state at any time, so I need to be reachable.

But still.

(Cue Nokia theme.)

I agree, I agree. 'Tis incredibly irritating. I am so very sorry.


Again, a thousand apologies.

One call was a WRONG NUMBER.

The other call was my husband wanting to go to lunch. OK, very sweet, but at that moment, I wanted to throttle him.

Before y'all tell me what a DUMBASS I am for not putting my phone on "Silent" mode, I figured it out all by my very own self last night! I pushed all the buttons myself and set it up and EVERYTHING. So now that's solved. But I think I'm doomed to be a Library Hate-ee. I never check out any books, and I owe so much in fines I'm afraid even to go up to the desk and ask. But I do put my reference books away and push my chair in! I swear I do!

In other developments, there is a new game in my house, and it is called SPOON.

Would you like to learn how to play? It's very simple. The first player in Spoon gets as many spoons as there are other players. The Spooner gets to be in the kitchen while the other players sit in another room. Then The Spooner finds the most bizarre, yucky, yet edible stuff to put on the spoons. The only rule is that the Spooned Substance has to be "carbless." That means no jelly, no honey, no oatmeal. (Hey... diabetes affects a lot of things, even The Rules of Spoon.) But you could Spoon, say, curry powder. Or Mike's Flamin' Hot Salsa. Or Lea & Perrin's worcester sauce. Or Splenda artificial sweetner. Oh, the possibilities boggle the mind!

Once the Spooned Substance has been decided upon, The Spooner feeds it to the other players. Whoever doesn't spit their Spooned Substance all over the floor is the WINNER and gets to be The New Spooner.

If you do try SPOON, let me know how it goes, OK? I'm not very good at it, myself.